SEVEN INCHES
TO FREEDOM.
The Bean won’t move itself.
Neither will the man inside.
An entirely fictional rescue mission inspired by the internet legend of a hidden hatch beneath Chicago’s Bean.
SATIRICAL INTERNET FICTION. NO PERSON IS TRAPPED INSIDE CLOUD GATE.
THE OFFICIAL UNOFFICIAL STORY
THE LEGEND
HAS LEGS.
Internet lore says a seven-inch move to the left would reveal a hidden hatch. Our rescue department exists entirely in the realm of parody.
Cloud Gate arrives. A fictional occupant acquires a very unusual address.
A public gathering is described online. Details remain unverified here.
Our entirely simulated rescue campaign continues on this page.
THE FLAGSHIP OPERATION
GIVE IT
A PUSH.
Seven inches stand between a fictional man and a fictional hatch. Your clicks are the only equipment this department has approved.
ONLY
SIMULATED MOVEMENT
> AWAITING INPUT. PICKLES ON STANDBY.
A GAME. SIMULATED / NOT REAL-WORLD MOVEMENT. Please do not touch or interfere with the sculpture.
RESTRICTED ACCESS / EVERYONE WELCOME
THE FILES
ARE OPEN.
FOR ENTERTAINMENT ONLY. THESE ARE NOT REAL DOCUMENTS OR EVIDENCE.
YOUR DEPARTMENT NEEDS YOU
THE BEAN HAS
NOT MOVED.
WE ARE NOT
GIVING UP.
Pick your entirely fictional assignment. No forms, no personal data, no real-world mission.
END OF FILE / START OF MISSION
NO MAN LEFT
IN THE BEAN.
Free the man. Save the pickles. Remember: this is a game.
SATIRICAL INTERNET FICTION · NO PERSON IS TRAPPED INSIDE CLOUD GATE